Malexander's Ordeal; Running the Gauntlet with Scissors

The Queen's Theatre; Les Miserables

When I first was exposed to Les Miserables at about age ten, my biggest wish was to one day see a professional production of the smash-hit musical. So years after I lost interest in the show, and with great irony, I attended the 30th anniversary run of the show in Picadilly Circus. And there was nothing wrong with the production. In fact, everything about the musical was well done. I simply don't have the interest in musical theatre that I used to possess.

Also, in what I used to consider a production that details the suffering of the destitute, I could now only view as propagating Christian messages. “The world can be a hard place” was the message I used to get from the show when I was young, somehow completely missing much of the “but God is waiting to reward you with Heaven!” part of the moral. I'm not saying this a bad moral, just that in viewing this show I was struck that the political drama was simply underscoring the religious overtones. Anyway, the redemption of everyone's favorite criminal-turned-bourgeois hero shows us that even convicts and/or factory owners have souls that need saving.

Sadler's Wells; Love, Art, and Rock & Roll

Ok, so we attend Sadler's Wells more than occasionally. This dance show was by Rambert, (an apparently internationally renowned dance company) and all I have from this show was my own interpretation, since I don't buy playbills. The first piece featured three dancers in all white and three in all black, with a moment meditation of love or art or maybe both? The second piece featured two couples and a nebulous ensemble of dancers dressed in all black exploring the themes of love? I do know themes of love and art were among the subject matter, and the live orchestra accompaniment was delightful, but distinctly not rock & roll. Then the third piece happened.

Performed to a soundtrack of Rolling Stones songs (including “Paint it Black”, “Playing with Fire”, and “Sympathy for the Devil” among others) this last piece explicitly examined rock & roll. At least rock & roll as far as the Rolling Stones are concerned. The male dancers all wore dress shirts with ties and did interpretive rooster struts that always ended with adjusting their tie. Starting with these moves to the song “Little Red Rooster”, these movements continued as a common thread throughout the piece. I can't describe how or why it was so funny and entertaining, but I left the theatre humming Rolling Stones songs and tempted to poorly imitate the rooster walk down the sidewalk adjusting my non-existent tie.

The Lyceum Theatre; Disney's Lion King


So. I'm not a fan of Disney. That's a subject for a different blog, but the Judy Taymor Tony-Award-Winning adaptation of the much loved Disney classic into a stage musical is a subject for this blog. The puppets were interesting and innovative. The show embraced African culture much more than I expected with language, song, and dance. At core, however, the show was still a Disney story with a message of... I don't really know. Beware evil lions that lead packs of hyenas? Don't worry about the desolation of your homeland until your dead father communes with you from the stars via a shaman monkey? I might be missing major themes, or there's just not much depth to this children's story. I don't really know or care. The African culture element was nice, but the electric guitar and Disney lyrics kind of spoiled that. There was a random moment of shirtless hyena house-music techno-rave for no reason.. I spent the show comparing the plot to Hamlet (as people keep telling me the plots are similar), but found that Simba's character arc is more similar to Prince Hal in many ways. But that's analyzing the narrow plot more than the children's story maybe deserves.

The Royal Courts of Justice

Built in the late 19th century in grand neo-gothic style, the Royal Courts of Justice building is positioned on the Strand in the City of Westminster just outside the limits of the City of London. The Royal Courts of Justice operates as the High Court and the Court of Appeal, with the Central Criminal Court operating inside the Old Bailey close to St. Paul's Cathedral. The courts are populated by judges, solicitors (lawyers carrying out office work), and barristers (lawyers carrying out trial work) all of whom are, by tradition, wearing robes and wigs that appear to be fashioned in “one-size-fits-all” form. Senior barristers are even referred to as “silks” as they are allowed to wear black silk gowns while junior barristers are not. The Royal Courts of Justice are open to the public during business hours, though everyone is required go through a basic metal detector and bag screening. Furthermore, no photography is allowed anywhere in the premise. A security guard may approach you to remind you that photography of even educational displays of the Magna Carta is strictly forbidden and threaten to fine, arrest, and imprison you for any breech of this rule.

After sitting in on an appeal case involving a drunken arsonist, we left the Royal Courts of Justice to explore the regions of Middle Temple Bar and the Inner Temple. We ended our visit by exploring Temple Church, the historic headquarters for the Knights Templar but now owned and managed by the Inner and Middle Temple after being gifted by King James I. During the Crusades, the church also served as a treasury for the Templars, who were also money lenders before being denounced and disbanded. The church was originally a Round Church (modeled off the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem) that was expanded chancel added on in 1240. The Temple and courts make up a neighborhood of their own on the Strand complete with gardens, courtyards, and quaint winding alleys.

Bath Trip

Our trip began with a visit to the historical Stonehenge. The weather, being a steady and blustering mist, was exactly what I had envisioned for the site and helped keep the tourists thronging the site to a minimum. With a new exhibit open to the public, the area around Stonehenge is very controlled, but does allow for wonderful viewing and photo opportunities. After a short stop at the site, we headed to the Avebury Henge, which is open to the public scattered about various sheep fields. Trundling through muddy fields among the sheep was a wonderful way to enjoy this site when dressed for the messy occasion. Following a path along the upper ridge surrounding the village of Avebury, I was attracted to a magical grove of trees tucked away around the bend. The root masses sprawled over the small hill draped in vibrant red leaves, while the site was scattered with tokens and prayers. Burnt candles, sodden notes, messages carved into the ancient trunks, and ribbons/yarns/strings scattered in the branches. I received more of a reverent chill from this grove than any site (religious or historical) so far on the trip. In the falling mist I felt struck with the beauty of the elements; giving myself a pagan baptism with the rain-made mud, much to the later mockery from the rest of the group. 

In Bath, we toured the downtown area along the River Avon before visiting the old Roman Baths: the remains of a once massive bathhouse complex. Remains of the plumbing networks, pools, and religious iconography from the facades and temple made up a museum testifying to the sophistication of the Roman culture. There was a immersion therapy pool, fed by hot spring water that entered the pool at a velocity to make the pool the equivalent of a jacuzzi. But with healing waters from a holy spring. I tried the holy sulfuric water from a fountain in the museum, as well as from the fountain outside Bath Abbey; so according to legend, I should by protected against gout.

Windsor Castle

The best part of visiting Windsor Castle was that Queen Elizabeth II was at home, as displayed by her royal standard flying from the keep in place of the Union Jack. The worst part about visiting Windsor Castle was not actually seeing the Queen Mum or getting the chance to say hello. Either way, closest proximity I've probably been to English Royalty. The castle itself is quite large, with the massive round keep on a center hill, with accompanying state apartments and St. George's Chapel (where King Henry VIII is buried with his third wife). As our visit to the castle was on a Sunday, the Chapel was closed for services, this Sunday also being a day of remembrance for the soldiers of WWI. 

We did tour the state rooms of the castle, which features the immaculately detailed Queen Mary's Doll House (more royal mansion than house, and in 1:12 scale) and plenty of royal treasures. Numerous displays of weapons, armor, art, and artifacts lined the rich rooms and hallways. I've probably now seen the finest collection of fine china I may ever see. Also, as the 200th anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo (and the defeat of Napoleon by General Wellington), there were plenty of artifacts and art in the theme of the battle. There was a great painting of Napoleon crossing the Alps while looking pitifully sad. The general view from the castle's perch was overlooking the Thames river, and the old moat around the keep is now charming gardens we weren't allowed to enter. Over-all, can see the why the Queen is attached to the place, so the contractors who almost unwittingly burned the place down in 1992 must suffer from career ending embarrassment. 

"I am a villain: yet I lie. I am not.

Fool, of thyself speak well: fool, do not flatter.

My conscience hath a thousand several tongues,

And every tongue brings in a several tale,

And every tale condemns me for a villain.

I shall despair. There is no creature loves me;

And if I die, no soul shall pity me:

Nay, wherefore should they, since that I myself

Find in myself no pity to myself?"

                                                  -Malexander Supertourist

Without speeches or further ado: 

                      the monster slays the dragon Malexander Supertourist.

"I am able now, methinks, 

out of a fortitude of soul I feel, 

to endure more miseries and greater far 

than my weak-hearted enemies dare offer.

I know myself now, and I feel within me 

a peace beyond all earthly dignities; 

a still and quiet conscience."

                                  -Billy Pilgrim

Billy Pilgrim shakes hands with the monster,

                                             and not a single tear is shed, 

                                                                        and conscience does make cowards of them all.